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Friday, August 22, 2003

Presidential Campaign Contemplator May Visit Iowa 

I've said it before, I like it when funny people do funny things. I'll keep an eye out for this in future months to keep you updated on his progress.

Presidential Campaign Contemplator May Visit Iowa: "Presidential Campaign Contemplator May Visit Iowa

WASHINGTON, Aug. 22 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Supporters of Howard E. Haugerud, who has confided to friends that he is contemplating entering the presidential sweepstakes as an independent, say a test run to Iowa may be in the offing.

The former publisher, editor-in-chief and owner of the venerable Stars and Stripes newspaper, multi-millionaire investor and business executive, who served as a presidential appointee in the State and Defense departments during the Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon administrations has made a single pledge to the voters.

'In my administration, the American taxpayers would always come first. Should I decide to run and be successful, my first step will be to supply my own enhanced and larger Camp David, in the form of Trout Run (http://www.troutrun.com), at no expense to the government,' Haugerud said.

Sources close to the possible potential candidate say he has already selected an isolated undisclosed super secret site (IUSSS) within the wild trout stream laced estate located near the present day stream challenged Camp David for the use and concealment of his vice president. This facility would also be maintained at no cost to the government. (ANCTTG)

While no firm plans have been made, associates speculate Haugerud would limit his Iowa foray to West Branch, the birthplace of dedicated fly fisherman and 31st president of the United States, Herbert Hoover, who founded Trout Run in 1929. When aides suggested this limited venture might produce few converts to his cause the contemplator agreed, but said neither would he be forced to eat corn dogs on a stick nor embarrass himself and family by attempting to play an accordion shoved into his hands by some loser at a county fair.

"Who knows, the simple preservation of a modicum of dignity while strolling through the Hoover Library and Museum might win a few points in Iowa," the possible candidate observed as he returned a newly caught energetic 15" brook trout to his tumbling Catoctin Mountain creek.

Haugerud was born in Minnesota and served on the staff of the late Hubert H. Humphrey in the early 1950s while Humphrey was a senator from that state. He attended Kansas State University, the University of Minnesota and the Harvard University Business School.

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